We Need Happy Mothers every Day

I am realizing the significance of taking care of ourselves as women.

Two weeks ago I was asked to teach in my church in a way others might be scared of, but for me was a breath of fresh air after 3 years of filling out secretary worksheets (definitely not my thing). Afterward, I felt I did well, and to get just a little praise from others gave me a new energy and a  confident calm to go about my week with a relaxed efficiency I had not experienced in a long time.

I was happier, and that was nice, but the thing that surprised me was that my children seemed happier. For the first time ever Bowery Bird cuddled with Canary in the morning in the room they share instead of ignoring her cries for mom. I heard her play with her more during the day and actually say "I love you." Mockingbird is usually very affectionate, but recently it has been constant instead of sporadic bursts with moody thunderclouds in between. The usual squabbles were there, but so was more affectionate interaction and just a more loving atmosphere.

I think the children in a real way picked up on mom's relaxed peace with herself. I wasn't as flustered or frantic as I felt confident in where I was--and my children felt it spill over to them. This really hit me. I am looking at how to make our homeschool and life in general less "speedy" and more "meaty" and truthfully- our lifestyle is NOT fast to begin with.

This little realization helped me to see how backing off a little can bring big dividends and my own self sets the thermometer for everyone else--more than I realized.

So, in searching for how to keep this feeling for myself, I found some good articles, which will make good fodder for our next Mother Daughter Project Group too.

Tips on finding time for yourself from CNN on How Moms Can Make Time for Themselves.

Essentially, it comes down to finding what rejuvenates and doesn't leave you feeling guilty, scheduling it in, and then not freaking out if life interrupts that-or if your plan interrupts life.

An article on a women's mental health called The Emotional Crisis between Mothers and  Daughters by Rosjke Hasseldine from The Silent Female Scream. (great web address)

Hasseldine concludes that Mothers who inherit a circumstance or belief of not emotionally taking care of themselves will develop unhealthy ways of releasing this frustration, often projecting it on or ignoring their daughters, who then perpetuate the same cycle.
This article is a wake up call to take care of ourselves. We're adults here. No one else is going to do it for us, or set the example of how to do it for our children.

Finding More Me Time on how to streamline what you have to do. I read somewhere that women spend 12 hours less a week cleaning than our 1960's predecessors. But because the expectation for parenting has taken off in a helicopter, so to speak, we don't necessarily get to enjoy that time and yet feel the stress from the same standard of cleanliness expected.

I would love it if I was the last person on earth to figure this stuff out, but I doubt it. We all want to do our best at taking care of the people in our lives we've been blessed with, but need to remember that taking care of ourselves is also taking care of them. Then we all can truly have a Happy Mother's Day--everyday.

Maybe even better since today I've been in bed with a fever...