We are together as a family A LOT.
We are in our home together A LOT.
Some days we get on each other's nerves A LOT.
It's not burn out, it's something different. It isn't homeschooling, it's something different.
Whatever it is, for our family it's cyclical, so I've been pondering how to remedy the situation.
These are things, when going well, I think will help me. They just happen to fall well into Charlotte Mason's Principles.
Education is a Discipline*
*these require discipline--at least for this momBe Consistent and Clear with Expectations
When my children know what to expect and what is expected of them, there is less haggling over assignments, or chores, or whatever. That equals less stress for me not only because people are more cooperative, but because I am not re-thinking every natural part of our day.
I also need to view chores not as a chore, but as time spent with people I love, teaching them to master the inevitable.
Balance Caring for Others with Caring for Yourself
If I don't take care of myself, I have nothing to give, and for some reason this usually manifests itself in the form of patience.
Some things I've noticed I need--not just want, but need:
rest, quiet time to myself daily-without interruption, exercise, looking my best, remembering to eat lunch, going out on dates with Mr. Owl, spending time with other adults, and intellectual stimulation, and some creative outlet I can drop relatively quickly if something is burning.
Be Positive-or at least appear to be
Moms really do carry the emotional thermometer for the family, like it or not. When my attitude slips, it is multiplied in other's actions. So this is not a Pollyanna pipe-dream, but really a point of self preservation.
I need to remember to smile, laugh, respond to others positively, be content with where I am, and expect success from others.
Education is an Environment
Have a House of Order
When there is a cleaning routine in place, plenty of good food prepared, and clutter contained it is easy for others, including myself, to feel at peace in our home.
Make Home a Haven
" Welcome home, honey--How was your day?"
Ha, ha Mr. Owl just said that today...again.
But what is even better than a clean house, and I'm learning just as important for our sensory-oriented family, is an inviting and cozy home. Something safe and welcoming and delicious to come home to.
Not anything that costs more, but is pleasing to all the senses: a scented candle for smell, soft clean bed for touch, an anticipated meal for taste, a family photograph for sight, and mellowing music to hear.
These things are so simple to say, but easily escape me when my mind gets full of other stuff.
Create more than Consume Creativity
This is why I am constantly doing battle with the iphone, and laptop, and television, etc. Because it comes down to whether our brains are just toying with another's creation, or learning to develop our own. (Mind or toys--I don't really care, just do something on your own!)
Having things to create with accessible that make this an available option helps. So I try to be patient about the fabric scraps and paper scraps and marker on the furniture, because a sterile environment can't produce anything.
Education is a Life
Learning is Exciting
Learning is fun, but I must balance my expectations so that we aren't rushing through what is interesting to them and trudging through what they find boring.
I have to remember not to talk too much and spoon feed ideas. It's OK if they don't get it all now, discovering it on their own is more valuable
I have also found that school subjects are boring when we just aren't delving deep enough but skimming too much, or hurrying because it's time for the baby to wake up.
Oh, and I must remember never to announce outloud "this is so fun/fascinating/interesting/funny" or certain people will be sure to proclaim it not--no matter what. However, my laughing outloud when people aren't paying attention to the story has peaked interest before.
"Oh you missed that? Too bad, it was so good." Really, I'm not that cruel... most of the time.
Life should be Fun
For our morning break I try to go out and play soccer or just spin the kids around till I'm too dizzy to stand. They love the physical attention and time together, and frankly, I find I do too.
We all need something to look forward to. I am realizing that holiday fun isn't something extra, but it's what kids live thier days for and spend their nights dreaming about. So I should put more effort into these built in diversions from the day to day.
Spontaneous smiles and a chance to be silly for 2 minutes are things I should look for and grab when possible.
Applauding little successes and celebrating family milestones are other great opportunities not to be lost.
This stuff is so obvious--why do I forget? Oh yeah, because I'm reading a good book.
Love and Appreciation go a long way
Or; You made lunch for us so I didn't have to. Toast, and eggs, and Kool-Aid--my favorite!
Simple civility, when gone is h-ard to get back, let alone deal with. If we can keep love in our family with simple courtesy and spontaneous service it changes the whole tone of our home.
Looking in the eyes of people I love when they talk to me, stopping to really listen, hugging especcially my older kids more, and taking their opinions seriously communicate how much I value the people I am blessed to be wife and mother to.
The spiritual feeling can't be ignored either. Some times the Holy Spirit is the only thing that can fix an indiscernible problem, so inviting the spirit more often needs conscious effort.
And Family Culture is something that can help us feel secure and significant in who we are.
Have a Common Goal
Whatever works. (It just makes an even 10.)