The Trolls

Instantly one of my favorite books, not only for it's fresh and accurate take on the absurdity of family life, but for it's absolute uniqueness in having a final sentence that stays with you for weeks.

(Spoiler Alert)

The girls loved the silly family stories and quirky aunt who told them, evident as we shared our favorites.

We talked about characters, and plot, and other elements that just came off as fun. But I think it was setting that held the crux of it all as our discussion naturally pulled us to ask the girls things like:

Where father grow up? Canada
And where did he live now? Ohio
How do those two settings differ? One is wild and green and near the ocean. The other is flat in town.
We then pulled out a US map to see where these two places actually were.
Do you think the distance between the two geographically is supposed to mean something in the story? The father tried to forget where he came from, to distance himself.

Do you think the Trolls were real? Yes/No
If they were real, what do you think the Trolls were? Wild things that took away and never gave back.
So what did they take away and never give back? Their brother.
How do you know? Because after that he never bragged or followed them around again.
What do you think the author is trying to say with this book?

Snow Treasure

Snow Treasure is indeed "A Story of courage and adventure!" But it's also just a story. In fact, a story-- based on some one else's story--based on the fact that $9 million in gold bars came to port in the US from Norway during WWII.

As has occurred in the past, we could have discussed it as a true story of WWII, Norway, courage, and honor--and we did a little, as pertains to SETTING.
But it's still a story based on a story, based on fact. So we checked the facts;

• There was a WWII, there is a Norway, the city was made up.
• The author is American, and got her story from a newspaper article,
• $9 million in gold bars did come to US from Norway.
• Checking with a Norwegian friend, he'd never heard of the story.
• It was published before the war was over.
• No child has ever come forward to say they participated.
• Another book, Pimpernel Gold, tells a true story of how men evacuated the king, government leaders, and national gold just before Nazi occupation.

We talked about emotional manipulation and the difference between fiction and nonfiction (noting the "FIC" sticker on the side of our copy). Then I asked  "Have you ever been in situation where something is presented to you then you find out the truth is not what you were originally led to believe?"
"This book..." was a quick response from a disillusioned 11 y/o.

Mothers shared: "sometimes I watch a movie and find myself rooting for the bad guy just because I've gotten to know him better--"
"--or because a character is not as bad as another--but they are still doing bad things."
"I saw someone begging for money, who then got into a really nice truck."
"We heard a story on NPR about a charity, and researching later found out it was a way for the individuals to get money for themselves!"
"My Paul Newman Cesar salad dressing had 'Olive Oil' on the front in big letters, but on the back it had 'olive oil' as the next to last ingredient."

An 8y/o offered: "This makes you think...really hard" (squinting).
We talked about how buying dressing without olive oil is OK, and giving money to people is OK, but we all make better decisions when we have correct information.

Then a parent pointed out that the parents in the book didn't want their children to say anything to the Germans. This allowed them to not say something wrong, but also saved them from having to tell a lie.
"Is there a time where saying nothing is better than lying?"
The gem of the day from a 10 y/o:" ...my dad says...if  a cop pulls you over, you answer a question with a question."
And we had an immediate role-play from two 9 y/o,
 "Like, what are you doing?" offered the first.
  "Well, what are you doing?" retorted the next.

I'll tell you what we were doing; discussing things on the level with our 8-11y/o daughters that will help them learn to think for themselves, or at the very least--know what to do when a cop pulls them over.

Update: 2 months later

We had an experience where a neighbor girl claimed to have been attacked nearby. I doubted the truth, but I didn't know what to say. My girls could talk of nothing else, and I noticed they were even helping this girl fill in the gory details she'd forget as she retold her story to everyone who would listen...so I waited.

A week later the time was right. At dinner, my children were talking about how people were responding to it all.
"So, some kids say they don't believe her story, huh?" I restated. "Well, remember Snow Treasure? When we listed what we knew for a fact and then what was questionable? Let's do that."
We did. It was pretty effective, but I refused to tell them my thoughts--only saying, "I'd like to believe her..."--to their immense frustration.
"And if detectives have only some one's story they go by, they check if that source is reliable. Has this girl ever told a lie before?" From another recent experience the answer was a resounding "Yes." from everyone. We talked about people affected by this.Then about the Boy Who Cried Wolf. We talked about how people would feel about any other stories this girl will tell in the future.

It was very effective, again without me having to give my opinion at all. Just recap the book group of earlier. I'm not always such a clever mom, but for the record: "It can happen."

The Night Fairy

aka: Fiction Keeps it Real

Our library does a Mother-Daughter Book club for girls 9 and up. Since it every month fills quickly Bowery Bird had the idea to just do one of our own. We are lucky enough to have a library with book club sets, so I reserved Juvenile sets from the them for 5 months out and invited 10 of our little friends and their mothers to join us.

Our first book was The Night Fairy by Laura Amy Shiltz. It was a great introduction for our young girls, being a sweet fairy's tale filled with the conflict of survival and forgiveness after her wings are bitten off by a bat.

Just before this a good friend recommend the book Deconstructing Penguins by Lawrence & Nancy Goldstone. It was the key needed to make an okay book club incredible. I read it just in time and used its techniques to introduce the book with the idea that we are all book detectives trying to solve the mystery of the book's various parts. While eating grasshopper cookies we took votes to determine who were the protagonist (pushing the story forward) and antagonist (stopping the story from progressing). Then we talked about what the theme of the book was and came up with Flory's fear resulting from the loss of her wings. I noted these things on a white board for everyone to see.

 I see this Mother Daughter Book club as sort of a cross between your basic book-talk and the book The Mother-Daughter Project by Hamkins & Shutlz (which I feel is a must read for any mother of girls). It is the effort of two women in the social sciences to bond mothers and daughters together and give them the skills and confidence to navigate adolescence and beyond. They do this by showing people how to start a Mother-Daughter Project of their own, with activities to do and topics to discuss.

In the end, I asked for personal examples of life's challenges and changes they've had to adapt to. Girls eagerly said things like "moving", "new baby", " flying to Alaska with only my little brother" (from a 7 y/o). Mothers needed more prompting, and two brave moms shared "we can't have any more children" and "we don't have a car that fits our family".

It got very real, and I think helped us all see that being young or old doesn't keep us from challenges, and--like Flory--challenges don't have to keep us from being happy.