Homeschooling in a Small Space

...and not going insane.

So... I was talking to a friend of mine who just got engaged. He has five kids, and will be adding 3 with the marriage to total 8 kids under 16y/o in their house. I asked if they would be moving, or staying in the area, and his reply was, "We'd have to move, with 8 kids we'd be on top of each other in this house." ...and they don't homeschool.

At this point I felt as though I'd been slapped with the silly noodle. Did he realize what he was saying? who he was talking to?

His house is 3,200 sq ft, has a recently finished basement complete with sauna, and a 3 car attached garage.


My family of six has lived in an apartment of 3 bedrooms; 1300sq ft for all of our 6 years of homeschooling. I recognize that in many parts of the world my home would feel extravagant and even luxurious with its amenities.

But still, I think I could redefine his idea of "on top of each other." He's a good friend and I am guessing that he just needed an excuse to leave the house his wife died in. Anyway, it got me thinking about things I do specifically with my day because of our space parameters.

Small Space Sanity Savers:

1. White Noise Machines- in each bedroom, before this it was me doing laundry every time I wanted to watch a movie without kids.
2. Headphones- for the piano and audio books
3. Keyboard- moveable piano!
4. Get out of the house--we take about a 2 hour break from 11-1 as this is about the time things start to fall apart and we are rolling on the floor eating each other's socks and growling like caged tigers. It also motivates us to get those brainy subjects done at a decent time.
5. Maps on table tops--under glass, or bully clipped to the coffee table day of.
6. An armoire for school stuff, in the kitchen-hides a multitude of sins.
7. Bins--"Math" bin," Language Arts" bin, and "Done" bin for all 3 kids stuff. I used to have bins for each child and realized it was redundant.
8. Lunchboxes-everyone in the small kitchen at the same time is madness, we try to take care of it earlier.
9. Bedroom with a lock--when things get really noisy and we just need 10 blessed minutes to finish the worksheet already!
10. Community Events & Memberships--we go somewhere just about every day. I know some people dread their busy schedules, but for us it's a lifesaver. We aren't at home breathing each other's air, making mess after mess, and we get out to experience quite a bit.
11. Clear Sleep, Wake Up, and Quiet Times-- I am not the best at this, but I see that where physical boundaries are small, we need more defined time boundaries to just get the space we need as individuals (and introverts).

Another friend was saying she felt she needed to be nearer her 4y/o son when he had friends over to play and make sure he wasn't being a bully. "You know?" she coaxed.

All I could honestly say was, "I've never had the luxury of that problem." Meaning, I am always within earshot of just about A-nything in my house, and while I dream of someday having a place to put bikes, and not have all my kids' clothes in one tiny closet because all the camping stuff is in the other, I know that it is far more comfortable than most of history's population, and can't bring myself to complain...too often ;)

15 Things I Wish I'd Known 5 Years Ago

Recently, I was panicking about my effectiveness as a teacher (a typical response 4-5 months into the school year). I voiced to a friend, "I just wish I could see 5 years from now and know it was all worth it."

My friend said, "Well, you've been homeschooling for 5 years now, what would you tell yourself of 5 years ago?"

This hit me hard, and a beautiful feeling of awe and gratitude came. I pondered this for all of December and realized there were a lot of things that had only recently been happening in the structure of our daily lives that would have made things easier a long time ago.

I list them for my benefit, because I am guessing many have figured these things out already.

15 Things I wish I'd known/started 5 years ago:

1. Don't compare other's best to my family's worst.

Easier said than done, but I am trying to focus on the whole child and a variety of well-rounded subjects. They might struggle with some of the same subjects they do with me anyway were they in a traditional school setting--who knows? If my child is reading later that others, or not in PreK--it's OK. Pogress is so varied at this time, and I'm taking an intentionally different route.

2. Make a top-heavy day and relaxing evening.

I am a morning person and by 8 o'clock I am completely DONE. My husband has a varied schedule, so for most of the week I am on deck from 8am-8pm, with little reprieve. I am also an introvert and so being with 4 needy people (whom I love) all day leaves me feeling completely depleted by then, and cranky if there's any delay getting everyone to bed (there always is.) So, I gave up on an evening poetry  read-aloud or constructive handicraft circle around the cozy crackling fire (which we don't have). Instead we all take this miracle sleeping pill called "Leave it to Beaver" just before bed. Its void of stimulating colors, its pace is slow, and it shows people listening to their parents; it puts us all into a settled comatose feeling of security--perfect for sleep.

3. No screentime Monday -Friday.

Let me clarify, no screentime that they get to choose or ask for. On Friday they each get a card with 10 minutes repeated around the top and bottom,  for 60min a weekend. When they want to play a game or watch a show they bring it to me, tell me the time they are using, and we both set our timers. If they are late--I mark off an extra 10min. Before they can have screentime, they must vacuum their rooms and finish their schoolwork on Friday, and have done their Saturday chores the next day. Then my husband and I see what they've already done and there's zero arguing about it among themselves.
This gives us incentive to get outside more, which I should really do with them more--like daily.

4. 1 hour of Quiet Time a day.

I forget about this on busy days--until it's 7pm and I'm exhausted. I've had to decide what this time means to me, and concluded I want them reading for at least 30min, but mostly it's for my sanity to have us all apart for a while--sort of a spacer in our day...audio books are our friend...

5. Take personal time 5-8am.

My wonderful husband guards me from little people until 8am. During this time I write, shower, exercise, or maybe just sleep. Since he is gone most of the day, and once I am visible I am available--right, right?--this is another needed space that gives me the bit of solitary I need to carry me through the day. He is so much better at producing a warm morning where as I am more suited to a military drill method of waking children--no it didn't work well...

6. Have the kids make their own lunches every morning after breakfast.

We have these sort of bento boxes, a list of how to make a lunch, and several trays/containers/bins that I pull out for them to choose from. I check it before they put it in the fridge. They can eat from them pretty much anytime they want to and travel well. If we are  on the go I can just throw them in a bag or fabric cooler.

7. Multiple calendars are not redundant, but necessary.

My husband and I coordinate on google calendars, I detail my day in a paper planner, and a huge chalkboard calendar tells me general appointments at a glance. A separate school planner with a shopping list template plans our learning. In the summer I have a calendar for possible events, and another for what we will actually do. I like to calendar...

8. Weekly prep of 3 hours--alone.

I just can't do it effectively with anyone in the house--there are too many interruptions and my 3 hours turns into 6... Again, my wonderful husband has agreed to take the kids somewhere 3 hours every week so I can get abreast of the upcoming week and write out their assignments. *A membership to the Rec Center and a children's museum preferably 30min away is just perfect.

9. Plan meals ahead, shop for them every 2 weeks.

I don't have to explain this one either. It takes discipline but the immediate freeing up of not only time, but brain space has me sold.

10. Have one Kitchen Helper with me to make dinner every night 5-6pm.

Those who aren't Kitchen Helper do dishes afterward. I do this for a couple reasons;
 1-I get resentful if I am the only one doing the work that-let's face it- sometimes is unappreciated.
 2-Children eat better when they make it, if only because they see the effort it took.
 3-I like the company and I want them to feel comfortable in a kitchen and learn to cook.

All my kids have to be home by 5pm, then I am not chasing down people, and we are on schedule for bedtime (that magical time).

11. Take off December and 2 months out of summer.
Do a 4 day school week, with classes/field trips on the 5th day usually.

This is the first year we've done this and it made such a difference for me. Starting school in July or August isn't really that big a deal. In fact, it's a great motivator when friends are calling at the window to play- eh, he, he. Our home is 1300sq ft and we always get a real tree after Thanksgiving. By the time that's up and decorations are out  (ours are limited) and the kids drag out wrapping paper to wrap their gifts all 3x each (no joke) I'm ready to crawl the walls if I've got to navigate all that and do school. It just gets too crowded in our common areas. Taking that month off gave me necessary space in more ways than one.

12. 1 hour of teaching alone with each (older) child, each day.

We go in a locked room, with a table and the kids rotate through Watching Canary (now 4), doing Independent Work, or school with me. My Y6 and Y4 have their own planners to check off with me by 3pm.

13. Group time with quick rotations of 10-15minutes per book/topic.

These are accompanied by snacks and little art projects for Canary.

14. Daily Routine posted.

When we get off track (everyday) I don't play catch-up anymore. I just look at where we should be, and pick up there. Our day is scheduled according to energy and attention span and learning a new Math concept at 2:30 never works.

15. Wash all laundry on Friday, and then fold it Saturday morning.

It's the one thing I can completely space during the week and end up with piles everywhere. This has been working. I sort it and it must be put away and drawers straightened before screentime.

Again, I'm not saying any of these should be prescribed to solve all or even any homeschool problems of course, but thinking harder about my space, my circumstances, and my support has helped me come up with solutions for my family-

and it only took me 5 years?!

Moral Tales for all that Ails

Me own mum confessed in true Catholic style the other day that if it weren't for the dear nuns and her early readers constantly concluding with some moral reminder, she'd have ended up like the rest of her siblings; self proclaimed "owl hoots and jaspers."

I found this telling, and went on to instantly catalogue what moral tales I was telling to my own impressionable little charges. They are good and plenty, a few for the record:

 1. The Book of Virtues by William J. Bennett and it's companion, The Moral Compass

It begins with a quote from Plato's Republic,

Anything received into the mind at that age is likely to become indelible and unalterable; and therefore it is most important that the tales which the young first hear should be models of virtuous thoughts...

One school year we were graced by one of these every morning after breakfast. It holds such chapters as "Responsibility" and "Courage" and "Work." I would give my children three of these categories and when I was finished they had to guess what the story was about, and why.

Some of our favorites are "Dust Under the Rug," a story about a girl who one day gets hurried in her housework for dwarfs and fulfills the title's foreshadowing, only to later have her conscience stricken and discover gold as she makes amends.

Another is the rollicking rhyme of "Matilda, Who Told Lies, and Was Burned to Death."
...Need I say more?

2. Mrs. Piggle Wiggle's Magic (and really, anything else by Betty MacDonald you are lucky enough to get your hands on)

Not only is this a great introduction to the world of illustrator Hilary Knight (male, not female) but a didactic classic with entertaining yarns of the familiar friendly neighborhood cure-it-all with-a-call, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. We know her, we love her, go out and order yourself three.

3. Picture books; Pepe the Lamplighter, Princesses are not Quitters, Ruby and the Teeny Tiny Lie, etc.

These three came to mind most readily being ones we own.
Pepe the Lamplighter highlights an immigrant boy's "insignificant" job which ends up saving his little lost sister one dark night.
The next is a modern fairy tale of three princesses who are tired of seeing the servants have all the fun. It is so fanciful and silly that little girls are easily swept up in the magic of...work.
Lastly, Ruby loves to collect little things so much that she slips, just a little, and tells her teacher that a little camera she founds is hers, and pays for it with a big guilty conscience.

4. Biographies:Stone Girl Bone Girl, Minty, and Annie Oakley

This is from memory, but impressionable true-life tales always leave my children desiring to do something great:
Stone Girl, Bone Girl is of the young girl, Mary Anning, who discovered many paleontological firsts along the coastal shores of her British homeland, helping to support her struggling family and defeat personal ridicule from her peers.
Minty, was Harriet Tubman's childhood nickname. The illustrator, Jerry Pinckney also did the Harriet Tubman stamp. This beautiful bringing-up story made me cry, but made my children laugh (at the right places). Minty tells her homemade doll a lively rendition of Davy & Goliath she has learned from her mother, comparing Goliath to their master and ending it all with a feast of plenty at the 'big house'.
Annie Oakley is a personal favorite, followed up by the musical, of course. This talented female went from providing food for her family to touring the country and donating much to orphanages.


5. The Friend, a magazine

Yes, I'm LDS and so is this children's magazine that monthly brings to our home true tales of children who have come up against disobedience, laziness, bullying, viewing something their family rules deem inappropriate, etc. from others, or themselves at a weak moment. Sometimes they initially make the right choice, sometimes they don't; which in itself, is a lesson. As a side note, a wise mother once told me she tries to discuss with and prepare her children for issues they must face a full five years before they will even need to.

6. Among the Farmyard People by Clara Dillingham Pierson

This series of "Among the...People" is actually about animals, because animals are people too. Basing moral messages around actual animal behavior results in stories, for instance, of a lamb who shakes his long tale proudly at the others when his mother isn't looking--until it's cut off. Another of my favorites is the surprisingly abrupt story of a mouse who mistakes foolishness for bravery with an owl around. While it takes a bit to read the humor at times, it is consistent throughout and directed toward kindergarten age of long ago.

7. Works of fiction: The Trolls, The Hundred Dresses, and Gone Away Lake

Good fiction, should be blatantly fun and subtly enriching.
The Trolls is one of the most surprising and though-provoking books I have ever read. Its light-hearted family stories have a deep and even dark undertone revealed in the very last lines. I pondered it's meaning for days after...
The Hundred Dresses, I'm sure we're all familiar with this early portrait of bullying or excluding, and it's consequences.
Gone Away Lake is an adventure of discovery into another time as two siblings and a cousin meet living relics of a time gone by. As beautifully as that unfolds, it's also about watching out for your younger sibling, and what can happen if you don't.

   

8. Fairy Tales

I put this last, but really, isn't this a child's first introduction to the realm of stories-with-hidden-meaning? Just think back on these tales that obviously originated with that purpose in mind:

Cinderella
Little Red Riding Hood
The Little Mermaid (Please, I'm talking the real one here)
Goldilocks and the Three Bears

Obviously enjoyed by all ages, these references are all mostly geared toward younger ages. If you know of some gems for the older set, please let me know. I'm half-thinking of myself here, for they have helped strengthen my moral character as well.

We Need Happy Mothers every Day

I am realizing the significance of taking care of ourselves as women.

Two weeks ago I was asked to teach in my church in a way others might be scared of, but for me was a breath of fresh air after 3 years of filling out secretary worksheets (definitely not my thing). Afterward, I felt I did well, and to get just a little praise from others gave me a new energy and a  confident calm to go about my week with a relaxed efficiency I had not experienced in a long time.

I was happier, and that was nice, but the thing that surprised me was that my children seemed happier. For the first time ever Bowery Bird cuddled with Canary in the morning in the room they share instead of ignoring her cries for mom. I heard her play with her more during the day and actually say "I love you." Mockingbird is usually very affectionate, but recently it has been constant instead of sporadic bursts with moody thunderclouds in between. The usual squabbles were there, but so was more affectionate interaction and just a more loving atmosphere.

I think the children in a real way picked up on mom's relaxed peace with herself. I wasn't as flustered or frantic as I felt confident in where I was--and my children felt it spill over to them. This really hit me. I am looking at how to make our homeschool and life in general less "speedy" and more "meaty" and truthfully- our lifestyle is NOT fast to begin with.

This little realization helped me to see how backing off a little can bring big dividends and my own self sets the thermometer for everyone else--more than I realized.

So, in searching for how to keep this feeling for myself, I found some good articles, which will make good fodder for our next Mother Daughter Project Group too.

Tips on finding time for yourself from CNN on How Moms Can Make Time for Themselves.

Essentially, it comes down to finding what rejuvenates and doesn't leave you feeling guilty, scheduling it in, and then not freaking out if life interrupts that-or if your plan interrupts life.

An article on a women's mental health called The Emotional Crisis between Mothers and  Daughters by Rosjke Hasseldine from The Silent Female Scream. (great web address)

Hasseldine concludes that Mothers who inherit a circumstance or belief of not emotionally taking care of themselves will develop unhealthy ways of releasing this frustration, often projecting it on or ignoring their daughters, who then perpetuate the same cycle.
This article is a wake up call to take care of ourselves. We're adults here. No one else is going to do it for us, or set the example of how to do it for our children.

Finding More Me Time on how to streamline what you have to do. I read somewhere that women spend 12 hours less a week cleaning than our 1960's predecessors. But because the expectation for parenting has taken off in a helicopter, so to speak, we don't necessarily get to enjoy that time and yet feel the stress from the same standard of cleanliness expected.

I would love it if I was the last person on earth to figure this stuff out, but I doubt it. We all want to do our best at taking care of the people in our lives we've been blessed with, but need to remember that taking care of ourselves is also taking care of them. Then we all can truly have a Happy Mother's Day--everyday.

Maybe even better since today I've been in bed with a fever...

The February Freakout- it's tradition

Is it going to stay warm or get cold?
Am I ruining my kids lives for homeschooling or should I keep at it?
Am I normal or going insane?

It's February.
It's the crux of the school year.
Rumors in the roost have it that it's the worst time of year when mother-in-laws (who used to be school teachers) visit, best time for bubble-baths to be taken mid-school day, and mostly likely time for home school mothers everywhere to freak out as they compare their immaculate September spreadsheets to lacking mid-year realism.

We've been homeschooling four years now, and I've noticed this pattern in myself, and-thankfully-honest others around me commiserate. I thought that this year would be a piece of cake with not  being pregnant, juggling a public school schedule for siblings, or having a baby under 1, but it's not been. I had heard somewhere that 3 years is what it takes to really make a difference somewhere. That teachers need about that time to really be competent in their classroom. But, my materials are new to me every year for my oldest, I am adding new students every 2 years, and these students aren't staying the same developmentally--it's always changing! Some things get easier, but it's not the same every year. I needed to not be so hard on myself. So if this feeling is predictable--is it normal?

For myself, I am drawing a conclusion: YES.

First, a few reasons why this happens in February so we can not just blame ourselves:

• The excitement of the new school year is gone--as is the delight of the holiday season.
• The weather is blah and unpredictable here, and air quality terrible. Field trips have tapered a bit, and we're just inside a lot.
• It's the middle of the year and we feel like there is so much more for us to do yet.
• We compare our kids to others in different situations, with different goals and priorities.

The way I've come to terms with this is:

• I am going to start school earlier in anticipation of unpredictable days during the year.
• I'm going to just enjoy what we are doing instead of checking off a list and 'catching up'
• Even when we have visitors we are going to do some school each day (reading, writing, math)
• I'm going to recognize more often that teaching good habits, exposing to inspiring material, and offering a variety of experiences will outweigh  x test score by the time my student finds their area to focus on. It's just an entirely different approach.
• I am also turning over more ownership of their learning, to the student. More here.

I think that this mid-school year insecurity is natural and healthy. Our students are about 6 months older than when we were beginning the school year and we see what they are capable of now-generally more. We see that what we started in September with gusto and dropped is really missed.

It is a great point to question what we need to change and more realistically see what we can still accomplish. I thought that my Y4 student should have been able to do all her work independently by now. But if I had seen the whole year as a transition and training for her to work on her own, it would have made me much more understanding and practical in my approach. But I can see it on the horizon now--and it's a beautiful glimmer in the bleak February days...

10 Happy Homeschool Sanity Reminders

We are together as a family A LOT.
We are in our home together A LOT.
Some days we get on each other's nerves A LOT.

It's not burn out, it's something different. It isn't homeschooling, it's something different.
Whatever it is, for our family it's cyclical, so I've been pondering how to remedy the situation.

These are things, when going well, I think will help me. They just happen to fall well into Charlotte Mason's Principles.

Education is a Discipline*

  *these require discipline--at least for this mom

• Be Consistent and Clear with Expectations  

 Or; This is the random day I think your room needs to be spotless or you're never having a playdate again!

When my children know what to expect and what is expected of them, there is less haggling over assignments, or chores, or whatever. That equals less stress for me not only because people are more cooperative, but because I am not re-thinking every natural part of our day.
I also need to view chores not as a chore, but as time spent with people I love, teaching them to master the inevitable.

• Balance Caring for Others with Caring for Yourself  

Or; Make sure your hair is brushed before you worry about someone else's.

If I don't take care of myself, I have nothing to give, and for some reason this usually manifests itself in the form of  patience.
Some things I've noticed I need--not just want, but need:
rest, quiet time to myself daily-without interruption, exercise, looking my best, remembering to eat lunch, going out on dates with Mr. Owl, spending time with other adults, and intellectual stimulation, and some creative outlet I can drop relatively quickly if something is burning.

• Be Positive-or at least appear to be

Or; I love the way you wanted to make your baby sister happy and gave her an open cup of milk to carry around in my bedroom-3 hours ago...

 Moms really do carry the emotional thermometer for the family, like it or not. When my attitude slips, it is multiplied in other's actions. So this is not a Pollyanna pipe-dream, but really a point of self preservation.
I need to remember to smile, laugh, respond to others positively, be content with where I am, and expect success from others.

Education is an Environment

• Have a House of Order

Or; What idiot gave the Maid and the Cook the day off the same day this week!!!

When there is a cleaning routine in place, plenty of good food prepared, and clutter contained it is easy for others, including myself, to feel at peace in our home.

•  Make Home a Haven

Or; "What's burning?"
       " Welcome home, honey--How was your day?"

Ha, ha Mr. Owl just said that today...again.
But what is even better than a clean house, and I'm learning just as important for our sensory-oriented family, is an inviting and cozy home. Something safe and welcoming and delicious to come home to.
Not anything that costs more, but is pleasing to all the senses: a scented candle for smell, soft clean bed for touch, an anticipated meal for taste, a family photograph for sight, and mellowing music to hear.
These things are so simple to say, but easily escape me when my mind gets full of other stuff.

• Create more than Consume Creativity

Or; I just made it to the next level of Planet vs. Zombies--isn't that great Mom!

This is why I am constantly doing battle with the iphone, and laptop, and television, etc. Because it comes down to whether our brains are just toying with another's creation, or learning to develop our own. (Mind or toys--I don't really care, just do something on your own!)
Having things to create with accessible that make this an available option helps. So I try to be patient about the fabric scraps and paper scraps and marker on the furniture, because a sterile environment can't produce anything.

Education is a Life

• Learning is Exciting

Or; Shakespeare is here in Midsummer Night's Dream, alluding to the baptism of King James VI when a lion was to pull a chariot into the royal dining hall but didn't because they were afraid it would alarm the ladies--isn't that fascinating/interesting/funny/fun?!...Are you getting any...of this?

Learning is fun, but I must balance my expectations so that we aren't rushing through what is interesting to them and trudging through what they find boring.
I have to remember not to talk too much and spoon feed ideas. It's OK if they don't get it all now, discovering it on their own is more valuable even when especially when it takes awhile.
I have also found that school subjects are boring when we just aren't delving deep enough but skimming too much, or hurrying because it's time for the baby to wake up.
Oh, and I must remember never to announce outloud "this is so fun/fascinating/interesting/funny" or certain people will be sure to proclaim it not--no matter what. However, my laughing outloud when people aren't paying attention to the story has peaked interest before.
"Oh you missed that? Too bad, it was so good." Really, I'm not that cruel... most of the time.

• Life  should be Fun

Or; "This is your spelling time, and I already know what "b-u-t-t" spells, so quit asking me."

For our morning break I try to go out and play soccer or just spin the kids around till I'm too dizzy to stand. They love the physical attention and time together, and frankly, I find I do too.
We all need something to look forward to. I am realizing that holiday fun isn't something extra, but it's what kids live thier days for and spend their nights dreaming about. So I should put more effort into these built in diversions from the day to day.
Spontaneous smiles and a chance to be silly for 2 minutes are things I should look for and grab when possible.
Applauding little successes and celebrating family milestones are other great opportunities not to be lost.
This stuff is so obvious--why do I forget? Oh yeah, because I'm reading a good book.

• Love and Appreciation go a long way

Or; You made lunch for us so I didn't have to. Toast, and eggs, and Kool-Aid--my favorite!

Simple civility, when gone is h-ard to get back, let alone deal with. If we can keep love in our family with simple courtesy and spontaneous service it changes the whole tone of our home.
Looking in the eyes of people I love when they talk to me, stopping to really listen, hugging especcially my older kids more, and taking their opinions seriously communicate how much I value the people I am blessed to be wife and mother to.
The spiritual feeling can't be ignored either. Some times the Holy Spirit is the only thing that can fix an indiscernible problem, so inviting the spirit more often needs conscious effort.
And Family Culture is something that can help us feel secure and significant in who we are.

• Have a Common Goal

Or; Let's all get in the car and find out where this week's forest fire smoke-cloud is coming from!!

Whatever works. (It just makes an even 10.)

Epiphanies in the Mother's Lounge

A short while after i had  had a new baby, I was in church, in the Mothers (nursing) Lounge, with my baby. There are speakers in there so I could still hear the service. It was Fast & Testimony Sunday; a time when members of the congregation will fast for a specific purpose and the meeting is open for individuals to uplift others as they bear testimonies of Christ from the pulpit.

So I am listening, and i hear these two darling children get up start to talk, and I have this conversation in my head;

"Wow, they sound so sweet- sounds like one sister is helping the other know what to say. Awwww. They talked about how their family reads the scriptures. Geez, we need to really do better at that, my kids would never say that about us. I wonder what family they come from? I bet their mom is really together...who are these kids? Probably really pretty too-together moms always are...I'm the Primary (children's organization) Secretary, I should really know who they are...Ugh, there are so many things I need to do better..." and my mind went on and on and on at my inadequacies. Which, by the way, is the anti-thesis of what Fast & Testimony meeting is all about, but, like I said-I  had a new baby and I'm sure that plays into it.

So I start with my baby back to the chapel and just as I'm about to go through the door, another mom turns to me and says "Did you hear your girls--they were so adorable up there helping each other".

I blinked twice, turned around once, and started bawling as I walked away. (not normal for me--new baby-remember?).

 I didn't even recognize my own children's voices...I was feeling terrible comparing myself to--myself?

It doesn't get anymore absurd. It makes me cry now-over a year later. We can be so hard on ourselves. I consider that day a sort of slap-in-the-face gift from God, showing that I--all of us--are doing good enough, should cut ourselves some slack, and enjoy the simple gifts right before us in the form of our families. We are enough. We are OK. We are better than OK.

The Path We're Set On

I have been thinking lately of my children's future, more specifically. There are so many options in homeschooling and how we use our time, that I want my children to be pulling to their strengths while strengthening their weaknesses. That's why I've chosen to give them a liberal arts education (meaning a little bit of everything). I don't want to tell them their career, or limit their options. But I can see some tendencies and I believe the Holy Ghost will allow me that as their mother.

So after a lot of thought, the best I can do is:

• Expose them to passionate people and what is possible. This can be done through books, speakers, field trips, and hopefully friends.
• Equip them with skills in areas where their interest and gifts lie. Starting with the basics of an area now that will give them the early freedom to explore and develop it if they choose.
• Eliminate distractions and the unnecesary so there is space for them to get to truly know themselves. Limit media and the trivial.
• Encourage them to do more of what work they find fulfillment in. Applaud & admire the effort not just the end product.